Black Tea
Mood:  cool

Just since my recent sem break, I have developed a love for tea. Before that, I didn't really think that I would enjoy drinking it. I used to think that teas are for those health conscious people that sport untypical lifestyles. Probably it was because most of my friends who actually drink these stuff are those health buffs/yoga practicioners who seem to be "in touch" to their spiritual sides or something like that. (Sorry for the generalization. What do I know? I am not really into minding other people's businesses.) What I know is that (like the McDonald's new tag line), "I'm lovin it."

Right now, I'm finishing a mug of black tea made from peach. It is my second mug today; the first one was made out of chamomile. But unlike the chamomile tea, this black tea is more aromatic--it actually smells like perfume (probably might taste like one... I don't know). I like the chamomile one more, but it's too early to say that it is my favorite. There are dozens of tea out there that I still am yet to have a sip of. For now, I have to settle for these two. I'm planning on spending next week in Bahay Kalinaw to have a taste of their "strawberry tea" (the one ordered by a friend when we had a meeting there before). I just hope that I am not "tea intolerant" (if there's such a thing).

I can't help but wonder if there is anything Filipino about drinking tea. (You see nations like Japan, China and the UK having tea drinking ceremonies etc). If there is, are there actually teas made from indigenous plants aside from those "pito-pito" that quacks sell? If not, how has this turned into something that is truly ours (well, tsaa with putobumbong doesn't sound too foreign)?

My First Job Examination etcetera
Mood:  celebratory

1. I finished enlisting my subjects today. I finally decided to take another sociology subject as my elective. This time, it??s about the family. Can??t say much on what to expect though. All I know is that it??s another semester of lots of readings and paperwork for me (that goes for all my subjects).

2. Ate out with my Comm 100 classmates and some of their friends (who have become mine too, I hope) in some Thai restaurant in SM North. I really enjoyed the spicy food there (flooded my food with green and red hot sauce). Also, the lemonade with pandan there was superb. Since I am not really a ??lunch?? person, it has been a while since I got to experience that (the last lunch I had in UP was with May and MTV supah stah??s ??Kok?? last semester). It??s one load of a laughing trip and a food trip for me.

3. After the big lunch (I was really full, though I don??t think most people would agree with me on that), we went to invade a friend??s house. Printed my resume, abused her DSL connection and chilled for a while with some music from contemporary local rock bands there (jeez, I really sound very un-rakista!). We were even served iced tea?Xall without the owner. (Yeah, you heard me right. The house??s owner wasn??t there.) After a while, we left. It was shortly after that when the owner got home. (Sad fate. ?? )

4. I passed my first job examination. It was like those reality shows on TV for teens, several people get eliminated after several stages of tests. I am not really sure if beginner??s luck has something to with this, but one thing is for sure?XI am one lucky guy. Unfortunately I chose a part time job, I still have to wait for some part time positions there to be vacant before I can start. Until then, all I can do is wait.

My First Job Examination (almost)
Mood:  energetic
Topic: New

Last night, I was supposed to take an exam in one of the call centers in Makati. Unfortunately, because of the sucky EDSA traffic and a noise barrage against oil price hike mob in Bicutan interchange, I was not able to make it on time. So there it was--a night and a taxi cab fare all gone to waste. It was not all bad though. I was told that I could come back on Monday evening to take the exam. I called up our house and told our maid what happened. I thought my night would end there, but it didn't.

I was with other two guys in the office that night. Apparently, both of them are late comers like me. But their case is not that simple: it was their last chance of getting the exam. One guy, the pale one, was talking to the officer. It seemed to me that he was asking for another chance for them both. The other guy, who just sat beside me, was just listened to what the officer had to say. After talking to the officer, I trudged towards the elevator and started to call it a night. It didn't take long before the two followed. Knowing the sad fate that we had, I started a conversation. What we all know is that we were all frustrated (at least in some sort). Later on, I found out that we all go to the same university. It was ten that I realized that the pale guy looks very familiar. I asked some more and confirmed and learned that he is actually the one that I had in mind--a guy that my friends used to call "the vampire" or "Lestat". He had long hair back then and very pale skin which resembled a model for vampires described in most books and in movies. Since I had nothing to do, I decided to just stick with them for the night.

They were a pretty interesting duo. We began talking about common friends and acquaintances as well as topics ranging from "capitalism and call centers" to "finding no value in money". The conversation was fun and insightful. It was, at least to me, what we just needed--a distraction from our stressful experience at the office. In a short span of time, it felt as if they were my friends all along. But the night didn't just end there. We were already in front of SM Makati when one of them received a call. It was from the call center. It was the call that made our night. They were given the chance to take the exam and start on Monday if ever they get hired.

The night wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it was all good. Though I was not able to achieve what I had in plan for, I had other good things that came my way. I got to meet new friends plus the good news that they were still given the chance. I just hope that we'll all be hired and end up on the same account.

Mood:  bright
Now Playing: return to innocence by enigma

Posted a tag board on my website's home page. Anyone may post anything he/she wishes to. Come on people, spill!!!

Ate tuyo for dinner today. My dad was not able to leave us money (I guess he underestimated it or something) so dinner tonight was a bit austere.

I'm feeling a bit sad today because I can't go out with my friends tonight. Money problems. Hope I'll land on a job soon.

My dad just got home from his Basilan trip. Right now, my brothers and my sister are predating on his presents from far south. Though we were never that close, he is still my dad and will always have a special role in my life. (Hey, I am not saying this just because I got some exotic food and embroidered items.)

I went online to update my website (lately, I have been doing that quite frequently) when unexpectedly, I encountered my best friend online. We updated each other and exchanged pics online. Except for the longer hair, she has not changed a bit. She still has her dimples, her nice jaw and her unique simile (yes, including the teeth). It was then I realized that I am beginning to miss her company (big time!). She reminded me of our days before she left for New Zealand (certainly not to gaze on its pastures). We would spend hours on the fone, talking about our day in school (if her dad is not there, that is). I remembered wishing for her happiness (though I was not exactly her boyfriend's best supporter). Though a bit embarrassing to admit, she was one of my crushes during my freshman year. I was Mr.Torpe back then, so I just settled for being her `siopao'. But I have to say that being siopao is not anything lesser than being her boyfriend. In fact, it is more. She got to be my `ampao' and I got to be her `siopao'--a thing that only the two of us understand (*head scratch* is it with or without an s? I need to check my grammar... *grrr*). After the chat, we promised to update each other more (through our blogs and through the net).

One reason to update my site more often.

By the way ampao, I have read your blog. It seems that a number of your posts revolve around you being single. (I wonder why...)

Enrollment
Mood:  not sure

They say you can't graduate in UP (University of PILA) without having to go through very long queues. Here's one from the PE enlistment at the Vanguard Building rooftop.

College of Mass Communication buddies. Emy, my co-cadet officer back in high school.

Good friends from MaSci.Sarah and OB.

Our sophomore class president and my blockmateBurt and Desi.

Lessons from Psychology 101: Our Dad's Punishment and Learning
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: Spill

Got my class cards today and I have to say that I am so pleased with the results (except for a mediocre 2.5 in natsci 1). It is to this why I posted the message on my home page (click here). Here is proof that I have learned something from last semester:

In our household, where a high power distance relationship exists between children and parents, punishment has been a way of getting messages through. A great deal of this can be interpreted using the frameworks of conditioning. Using this as a framework, I am given a possible interpretation on how and why I-and my siblings-act the way we do. But before going on, I just would like to state a few things that I have in mind. First, I am aware that the memories that I am going to recollect has an internal bias in it and in one way may vary with how my other siblings remember them. Next is that I have given effort to make my accounts as objective as possible.

Though rarely happening nowadays, I can safely say that I-along with my siblings-had our own share of hitting by our father. He never verbally explained why though; we just grew up getting used to the idea that it follows after doing something wrong. He stopped the habit of physical punishment on us when I stepped into high school. Doing computation on that, it is indeed safe to say that it is me who got the most hitting. His consistency in giving unpleasant stimuli-since it did not only encompass the physical-probably became the reason why there is a level of avoidance by most of us here in the household. Looking back, it seems to me that these punishments, along with other unpleasant stimuli, are ways of inculcating discipline among us. He would hit us for not complying with his instructions. One instance, clearly recalled by my brother and sister, was when he asked us to take an afternoon nap. But instead of sleeping, we tickled each other to laughter. It was to our shock when he just sprang inside the room and hit my brother and sister. Fortunately, my eyes were closed during the time he got in, sparing my buttocks from being hit.

I was not always lucky though. Of course, I had my share of punishment--a considerable few I can recall way before I even started schooling. When I was around four, I remember being hit because of accidentally breaking the glass of our cupboard with a ball. I also remember being hit after I accidentally caused my baby brother to fall in an attempt to play with him. Another was when I was too sleepy to eat breakfast and a spank in my back helped me wake up. There was another instance when I accidentally broke our doorknob. In rage, he asked me to put in place and not to do anything unless I accomplish so. Being the kid that I was, I was unable to fix it. Instead, I just held it in place until I accomplish so. Being the kid that I was, I was unable to fix it. Instead, I just held it in place until midnight. And because of my fear of my father to inflict further punishment, I did not follow my mother's instructions to let go until she ensured me that everything will be all right. There was even one recent event when my brother, whom he mistakenly blamed for pretending to be asleep, failed to open the gate. With those share of punishments that followed an unpleasant accident or a deliberate non-compliance, it occurred to us that they should be avoided to avoid being physically punished.

Another set of punishing events were not because of physical stimuli but were more intangible in nature. There are events that we--at least I-had come to accept. Probably it was because of these events' consistency. There were instances when we were at play, with all our toys on the floor, and our father would just tell us to stop. There were several instances in front of the television when we were asked, in the middle of a frequently watched cartoon show, to turn off the television. What is more is that he asks us to do "household chores" at random instances-usually when we were at play or in leisure. This unpredictability perhaps is why I had come to associate my father with unpleasant things as a kid. This is evident with many examples that occur up to now in our household. Our father once bought a kind of alarm that he uses as a signal to open the gate to make way for his car. We had come to associate that sound to his arrival which, by instances, are followed by the events mentioned above. Upon hearing its sound, leisure activity inside the house literally ceases: televisions were turned-off, toys were put in their place (even under the sofa) and people would start going inside their rooms. Everything becomes stiff and uptight. For me it was just simple, by not doing anything leisurely, his deeds' impact would not be that great. With classical conditioning, the alarm sound was generalized with the sound of cars passing by and with the beep of its horn.

Another contributing factor in explaining how much this punishment has affected us a lot is its intensity. There are cases when punishments became seemingly unreasonable. As we grew up and became thinking individuals, punishments became harder and harder to justify. An instance can be recalled when he was searching for a pair of scissors one morning. He woke us all up, hoping to pinpoint the one who last used it. But his attempt was all in vain. So he had our sleepy heads searching for the scissors-telling us not to stop until we find it. What is more punishing is that, we literally were not allowed to stop until he says so. In addition to that, his punishment is intensified and reinforced when he punishes us in front of our relatives, particularly our cousins. They tell us about their fear of our father which further strengthens the reason for avoiding him, and not the punishment. Though it is not entirely the case, the common behavior of avoidance has come to show the impact of punishment not only to me, but to my siblings as well. The association of these unpleasant stimuli with our father was reinforced in time. Notably, it was because of its consistency and the broad range of events had caused us to generalize and attribute these instances to him. It had led us to conclude that the only way to create comfort is to be "uncomfortable"-by acting stiff and regulated in front of him. In a way, it occurred, at least to me, that he was deliberately avoiding us to feel at ease. This belief shared by most of us here in the house is further reinforced as more unpleasant stimuli are being received from him.

With those things at hand, experience being the best teacher, I now know that reinforcement is better than punishment in raising children. Learning just does not involve the introduction of unpleasant things. Rather, it is important to promote violence-free learning environment as much as possible. It is also recognize that punishments are not to be attributed to the punisher. An lastly, by knowing how it poorly facilitates to get a message through-that is, teaching a lesson to another person, punishment should be used carefully in communication. Using this as a form of communication is rather risky and that the sender should weigh things over and consider if there are other more efficient alternatives.

My Bataan Vacation
Mood:  smelly
Topic: vacation
Just got home from Bataan. I feel awfully tired.
Going to SM Bicutan for a haircut. :-)

Some details 'bout my sem break:
1. I chose to live in a much simpler (and much more crowded) place than a more comfortable one (at least by urban standards).

2. I got to appreciate the puto bumbong and tsaa (of mixed leaves with pandan) combo for merienda. I actually texted a good friend about my newly-born love for teas and herbal drinks.

3. I had a steady supply of my favorite food: kakanin (buchi, calamay, puto lansong etc) for breakfast and merienda.

4. I got to appreciate rural living more.

5. On my second day, I learned about a relative (who is a Certified Public Accountant) who chose to keep a farm instead of office work.

6. On the same day, I was mistaken for a Japanese tourist by some community workers (actually nursing students from Bataan Polytechnic State College). (They actually thought I was there for the `Philippine-Japanese Goodwill Building' and the `Dambana ng Kagitingan'). After clearing things up, we spent a while talking about our experiences and on how these experiences might help each of us out in such work.

7. I understood how life as a contractual factory worker works through my already-married cousins. I also got the chance to experience the life they are living as well as the daily problems that they encounter.

8. I learned that gambling and drugs are more rampant in my relatives' place in Bataan compared to here in Manila. I never felt closer to "drug" pushers, jueteng lords and sabongeros than before.

9. I got the chance to meet my mom's elementary and high school barkada when we went out to buy fish for dinner. It was then that I realized that it is very important to look back and be thankful for where you are, wherever.
10. I was informed that a considerable number of the victims of the recent fire in Palawan were actually my kin.

11. I learned that isaw and taba (that is twice as long and many as the ones sold near Bahal Kalinaw in UP) costs two pesos and three pesos respectively.

12. I managed to deal with an alcoholic cousin when everybody had given up patience on him. I have proved that talking, listening and understanding what the person has to say helps than shouting and telling him what "should".

13. I learned that my uncle (who is a jeepney driver) served as the president of PISTON (a union of jeepney drivers) in Novaliches. It was also through him that I learned that not all people are ignorant about the things happening in our country. But again, I have to say that some information are not as reliable (not that I am Mr.Know-it-all) but I have to see some things for myself before believing in them.

14. Did the young Marcos (not Ferdinand) actually kill a Duke and got executed for it?
15. Is Imelda Marcos actually just a concubine?

16. Were Gracia Burnham's accusations right (on military and bandit conspiracy)?

17. I found myself defending my Alma Matter against my relatives' misconceptions and stereotypes of what UP students are. I also found myself defending president GMA against a pool of pro ERAP and FPJ relatives and neighbors (not that I am pro GMA).

18. Got the chance to experience an actual "bulungan." It is a way of getting freshly caught fish auctioned to market vendors or "mamamakyaw".

19. What do Filipinos, Israelis, the Bisaya, and Chinese have in common? If they are actually people in diaspora, why are they persecuted and discriminated in places where they go? Especially with the Bisaya (who has a community of their own beside the sea, like the Badjaos of Mindanao), I have learned (I actually talked to some of them) that the same fishermen Bisaya in Cagbaliti and Cagsiay (in Quezon) are actually related (not by specifically by blood) to the Bisaya in the shores of Bataan.

20. Got the chance of spending All Saints Day in an actual cemetery for the first time.

Spill
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: Spill

Random Thoughts

1. I will be spending next week in Bataan.
2. In case I won't be able to greet you on your birthday, I would like to greet a good friend, RC, a happy one!
3. I am looking forward to getting a part time job next semester so that I can enroll in Steps dance studio.

Blog

I just feel weird now that I have completely deleted my old blog. (To be completely honest, I am not even sure if my blog was still there. A few people, including yours truly, had been complaining that my arcangel blog has been inaccessible for the past month. That is actually the reason why I decided to get rid of it.) I just hope that gone with my old blog are things that should already be forgotten. And with the new one, I am looking forward to new thrills and adventures that will give my life the twist and color it seeks.

De ja vu, de ja entendu

My ex-girlfriend called me up two nights ago. There was actually nothing new in our conversation. It was a usual "how are you?" conversation most people do (at least most people I know of) to their close friends to update each other. Actually, I can't say that it was usual (in the strict sense) because we rarely talk to each other nowadays but usual because the routine is basically the same. We would update each other, tease each other and even talk about our very own "happy moments".

I haven't really put much thought on our "routine" until recently. One night, after exchanging a few text messages with a good friend (not my ex-girlfriend); I decided to write something for my blog. So I grabbed a piece of bluebook I spotted under my mattress. The blue book has something written in it--another blog entry that failed to make it online. (I won't just post my sucky writing; at least not with those predatory twits around. It takes a great deal of courage and audacity to post something that is susceptible to the eyes of those self-righteous twits. Di halatang galit ako sa kanila. Hehe.) It was written after a conversation with my ex-girlfriend dated August 1, 2004.

After reading the bluebook's contents, I can't help but feel surprised. Most of its contents were actually similar to our recent conversation. In fact, there are even phrases and lines there that were like de ja vu's or, even more, de ja entendu's. Reading all those things made me wonder. Am I on a time warp? Why do some things (mostly my problems) still remain the same despite the time that had passed? Why can't I move on? Haven't I solved anything? Apparently, I have not. Much has to be dealt with.

What I know is that--like always--she will always be there for me.

posted by groupblog at 7:35 PM JST

Updated: Friday, 22 October 2004 7:42 PM JST

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For a very special person
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Happy Birthday Song
Topic: Birthday
This video is for the most important woman in my life.
1020

Happy 18th birthday. hehe. :-)
I love you.

Mood:  hug me
Topic: New
Two friends texted me yesterday. "Nandito kami sa SM Bicutan." I just felt like it was just a big bluff but I went there anyway. Much to my surprise, they were actually there! It was all too much for me (to think that thay came all the way from UP Campus in QC just to see me). After the shock, we went on updating each other. It made my day. :-) Thanks for the surprise guys. I was not expecting that you'll actually go here in Para?aque just to see me. I really appreciate the effort.